November 30, 2009
Yesterday was the first “official” day of P90X for me. I still do not have a chin-up bar so I had to use the bands for pull-ups. Having done this work out a couple of previous times during the trial run I was very familiar with it. So I set reasonable goals. 10 reps for push-ups and 15 reps for pull-ups and was able to complete all of the sets with the exception of the dive bomber pushups. All of the weight based stuff was 15 reps of 10lbs per dumbell. This ended up being a little to light, so I will be moving to 15lbs next Sunday.
I am using the Daily Plate to track calories and percentages:
Percentages: Protein = 36%, Carbs = 34%, Fat = 30%
I was behind on the Protein by 14% and high on the fat by 10%. Still getting used to the diet.
Stats for Day 1
Height: 5′ 9″
Lard Ass Content: 21.6% (Using Navy Method)
November 24, 2009
Yesterday I did a second trial run of Plyo-X. I got 75% of the way through and that was good enough for me. Still a little sore from the chest and back the day before. Some of the DVD’s have been freezing up occasionally on one of my players. Must be the revenge of the Troll woman I skanked them off of. I am converting the DVD’s to quicktime movies using my PC and I will just play them on my laptop. No freezing up that way.
My legs are not sore at all like they were last time I trial ran the Plyo workout. Doing the trial run has been very good at getting me ramped up to the level needed on Nov 29th when I start my 90 days. Thanksgiving is just a couple days away and once the holiday is over it will be time to get started.
November 23, 2009
Going through the rest of the DVD’s on a trial run led me to go out and get the following items. Hex weights. Hitting pause to change plates on the dumbells sucks sweaty ballsacks, so I went out and got a set of Hex dumbells in the 5, 10, 15, 20, and 25lb sizes. Have not been able to find an in-door (no holes drilled) chin-up bar that fits in a 36 inch door opening. (Well there is one on the internet, but it is $75 plus shipping. As you have seen from former posts, I am way to much of a tightwad to blow $75 on that when a perfectly good crack whore can be had for $20. So I pimped a couple of the elastic bands and those will have to do until I can find a better deal on a chin-up bar.
I am now going through a second series of trial runs prior to the Nov 29th start date. Good thing too, because the second time of doing chest and back was much better. It still whipped my ass like a little schoolgirl, but I was able to figure out the best weights and reps for me. 12 reps of everything push-up wise appears about right (except the diamond pushups, those things tear up my wrists and I could only get thru 7 or 8) 15 was too many by the second round. For the pull-ups, 15 reps of everything was ok, using the bands. Real pullups would be much more difficult to do. With all the dumbell work, 10lbs was to light for the weights, so I will be starting with 15’s on all that stuff.
Today will be 2nd time trying Plyo-X. Last time I did 20 minutes and my legs felt like crap the next two days. I will attempt to go through most of it so that I know what to expect once the real 90 days start.
Last but not least is the diet. I have been using The Daily Plate to track the diet portion and it has been super tough to get to 50% protein, 30% carbs, 20% fat. I have been averaging about 45% carbs, 30% protein, 25% fat. I think some whey protein will help bring up the protein amounts. My breakfast gets me off on the wrong mix and I spend the rest of the day trying to get it back on track. Orange Juice has lots of carbs, but I love it. Plus a coffee with cream and sugar is my only vice. 1 per day, but that screws up the percentages even more. The diet will be the hardest part of this, and the first 30 days will be the WORST. After that the carbs come up so I should be able to stay on track.
November 19, 2009
Did about 25 minutes of the Shoulders and Arms along with another 8 minutes of the Ab-ripper as a trial run. Another thing learned. Get some hex weights instead of the bars with plates. It sucked changing the weights and pissing around with screwing and unscrewing the caps etc… Today I am going out to Wal-Mart to pick up some hex dumbells, but first I will check craigslist and ebay.
Later tonight it will be a trial run of Yoga-X. I already know that I will FAIL big time as I am about as flexible as a steel post. These trial runs have been a great idea as I get a feel for the additional stuff needed, i already know I will need a yoga block. Do they make a yoga Double Block?
November 18, 2009
Last night I did a trial run of the Plyometrics and Ab-RipperX disks. After carefully wiping the leftover troll juice off of the disks, I popped in the Plyo-X and figured I would just do about 20 minutes. First lesson learned: No need for Sweatpants. Holy mother of satan did my legs get hot. I ended up doing about 25 minutes worth, and I have to admit, the guys at the office were right. Do a few trial runs of each of the workouts first. If I had simply waited til my official start date of Nov. 29th and jumped in full blown, I think my legs would have fallen off.
I then did half of the Ab-Ripper X routine. (8 minutes or so) Again, good idea to ease into this prior to “officially” starting the program. Was able to stick with Tony (by the way, what a d-bag he is) but was starting to fade a little at the 8 minute mark.
Another tip from the boys was to get myself a set of push-up stands. I had completed the 100Pushups workout in a past life, and remembered my wrists getting sore then. The recommended stand by several people was “The Perfect Pushup” by RONCO… OK maybe not Ronco but I do remember seeing a infomercial on them. Several stores in town had them for anywhere from $24.99 to $19.99. How to find them cheaper? Easy…. Craigslist. A quick search led me to a set for $10 locally. The normal “hardly used” tag was on them, so I figured they had about 1 Million hours of use on them. I contact the guy, get the address and go over. Heck, the things are still in the box and wrapped. The dude looks a little shifty so I ask him where he got them. He breaks into a big greasy smile and says “Internet”. Based on his crappy wardrobe and kick-ass mullett, my guess was he lifted them off the delivery truck he was unloading at Wal-Mart. I notice about 6 other boxes of “The Perfect Pushup” in the corner of his garage, along with several other items still in the box. So I figure I would take a stab in the dark and see if I can get a better deal. I offer $5. The Joe Dirt look-alike brings out the greasy smile and says. “Nope, $10″ Right away I can see that I may not be able to get the guy to move on the price.
So I go to tactic #2, discuss something that he thinks we may have in common. In the driveway is a ratty old Camaro that you just know he is DAMN proud of. I lead with ” I used to have an 84 IROC-Z like that, wish I never would have sold it” BINGO!! New best friend… So we chat for 30 minutes about the glorious virtues of the bitchin Camaro and tell stories (mine completely made up) about races won and tires burned off.
Time to close the deal…. So I hand him back the box of Perfect Pushups and say “Thanks anyways” and start to head out. I get no more than 2 steps away and what do I hear? Joe Dirt sayin… Well, I guess I will take $5. I turn and dig into my pocket for the cash, (all in crumpled up ones) count out 5 and say “oh thanks alot buddy!!! As I drive off with my new Perfect Pushups I can’t help but think “America, what a country!!!”
November 17, 2009
I finally have my hands on the full set of P90X dvd’s at a price that was right. I spotted a garage sale going down on my way home from work yesterday. Being the high quality shopper that I am, I cut across 3 lanes of traffic, waving my favorite hand gesture the entire time and pull into the driveway where the sales are going hot and heavy. As I walk through the tables of junk for sale what do I spy? Damn right, a full set of P90X DVD’s, and judging by the way the overstuft honey working the cashbox looks, these things were “gently” used. So I pick them up and see they are priced at $30. Well this IS a garage sale so everything is marked up at least 300%. So I quickly offer the troll at the cashbox $0.50 for the whole set. She counters with $20, (mistake lady, you dropped $10 right away….) So I counter with $1 for the set, and add in “They probably won’t even play”. I am instantly met with “I am pretty sure they all work” (as if she had ever even viewed them, her eyeballs even looked overweight) but I think I can go to $15. OK, she has now dropped the price 50% from $30 to $15 and I have not even started haggling yet. Next I pull out the old “I think I saw a copy of these available at the Goodwill store, maybe I will go check there again. As I turn around to put the DVD’s back down where I got them she says “How about $10?” I quickly reply, “Will ya take $5?” After much thinking and fingering of troll beads, the deal is done. $5 bucks for the entire set. Now we move on to the chin-up bar and other suggested accessories. I am thinking hot pink spandex pants and lime green muscle shirt for work-out gear, a trip to Wal-Mart is in my future….
November 12, 2009
So I was able to lift 7 of the 12 disks off of the guy from the office, and I should be able to snag the remaining 5 when I break in this weekend. Just kidding. I only steal things legally, that’s right… off the internet. So I surfed on over to the home of all things counterfeit, eBay, and began “shopping” by searching on P90X. Right away I am bombarded with tons of crap that I could care less about, I am looking for the cheapest workout set I can find, not elastic bands and protein bars. Who the fuck sells 1 protein bar. I should bid that thing up to like $100 so the dude thinks he is making a killing, then get his address with my fake payment request and drive over and punch his mustache off. Douchebag.
So I keep on shopping and I happen upon the deal of the day! $39.00 for a complete P90X home fitness set, buy it now. I nearly come in my pj’s with excitement!! So I click on the link and what do you know.. seller is from frickin China! Now the last thing I need is to have some slant assed Tony Horton look alike screaming “oh me so horny, me love you long time” on my workout DVD’s. Cancel that order. Needless to say, I am still looking for that perfect deal, until then I will have to keep working on stealing the entire set off of the guy from the office. While I am surfin the web, I might as well play with my wiener, its a nine pounder. Maybe I will post a picture of my wiener on the blog. That will get the bitches rollin in to the site.
November 2, 2009
Some friends at the office have been talkin shit about the work out program they are doing… P90X. So the challenge has been thrown down, attempt to find my former 6-Pack abs. I know where they are, I have been hiding them under the Jell-o that is my belly. See, if I didn’t hide them, all the young hotties would be like “Damn, who is that hot mo-fo grandpa dude hanging out over there. Tell him to set the walker to the side…. I gots to get me some of that.”
Now I have to get my hands on the P90X workout program and some tools of the trade. So I visited the BeachBody web page and that shit is expensive!!! I might as well just go down to the hospital and get freakin liposuction for that price. 3 easy payments of 39.99 plus 15 bones for shipping.. WTF? Thats $135 just to get started, or $1.50 per day for the 90 days. Shit, that fat hog Susan Sommers could feed a pack of starving ethiopians for 6 months on that coin. And what is up with the $15 shipping and handling? Are you shipping that shit in a gold plated box? Its some DVDS and some books, not a Ming Vase. Stick the dvds inside the pages of the book, wrap it a few times with Duct tape, slap a couple of stamps on it and drop it in the mail!!
I guess I know what I will be doing the next few days…. inviting myself over to my friends house so I can secretly steal his copies while he is out fetching me cold beers while we watch the game. Hopefully I can steal the entire set before November 29th, cause thats when I want to start.