Ahhh rest week, lets take a look at the schedule. What the Fuck!!! We start with Yoga X, there is not a snowballs chance in hell that is happening mister!!! I just did that shit yesterday as a makeup for missing it on Wednesday. Not happening. Instead I decided to take on the much friendlier looking CardioX. So I flip through the DVD’s and find it still in the package that smelled faintly of chocolate. There were fudge colored fingerprints on the wrapper. Probably left over from the Troll I purchased them from.
So I dig out the DVD and pop it in. The little douchebag interview at the start kicks in and what do I hear. Tony the T-Bagger saying “In cardioX we combine Yoga (there it is, that fucking 4 letter word) with Plyo, and Core and blah blah blah” My ears tune the rest out as I begin to tremble after hearing that damn word… And what do we start with? Hold my ballsack and kiss my ass…. Yoga. Vinyasa’s for everyone bitches. So it is Vinyasa, into plank, into upward dog, into push-up into downward dog, into Warrior I, into Warrior II, into Reverse Warrior, into thats enough muthafooker. If I have to do any more dogs, the humane society is going to pick me up on a beastiality charge.
After 10 minutes or so, it is on to a shortened plyo section, then into a shortened core section, and then my DVD froze up!! With exactly 8:34 remaining and Tony in mid sentence about some worthless little factoid I am sure. Now I see why the troll was willing to sell these damn things so cheap, they freeze up now and then. Well anyways, I am still kind of pissed about the fact that this CardioX thing contained some Yoga, so I say screw it!! I am done. So I pop-in the Ab ripper DVD and finish up with that.
Tomorrow is Core Synergistics, which I am kind of looking forward to. I really want to see what a banana roll is. I hope I get to take my shorts down for that one. I also see something called a Dreya Roll. I hope that is where a couple of guys invite her out to the parking lot and whip the shit out of her and steal her purse. Rolled that bitch. I have this feeling that I am going to be disappointed when I actually see what these two things really are, but for now, I can always dream.