Insanity – Day 30 – Core Cardio and Balance

Finally a recovery week.  My knees and back need the break.

So just what is Core Cardio and Balance, and why in the Sam Hell do I need to repeat the damn thing 5 days in a row?   According to Shaun T, it is a chance for our muscles and body to recover while still giving our heart a bit of a workout.   Fine with me, but electroshock paddles to the chest would give the old heart a workout a hell of alot quicker than the 40 minutes this DVD takes.

The warm-up is different than anything we have done up to this point.  Instead of repeating 7 excercises 3 times for 30 seconds, you simply do 6 excercises back to back for a minute each.  A few of these are new while some were done in the other DVD’s.    They include

  • Switch Heel Kicks – Basically Mummy Kicks without the arms.
  • Mummy Kicks – Basically Switch Heel Kicks with arms out front.
  • Side-to-Side Football Shuffles
  • Log Jumps – Same as Hurdle Jumps in one of the workouts.
  • 8 High Knees / 8 Power Jacks (repeated for a minute) 
  • 8 Fast Feet / 8 Hooks (repeated for a minute)
  • Now it is on to some stretching, but not as much as in the other workouts. Maybe 5 minutes of moderate stretches.

    Now the workout, each item is about a minute, but Shaun explains each one and eats up about 10 seconds of the drill showing you how to jump around like a complete idiot.

  • Moving Ski Jumps (Ski Jumps, but 4 times to the right then 4 times to the left — and repeat)
  • Hit the Floors (nothing new)
  • Level 1 Drills (Slower versions than the previous workout DVD’s)
  • Heismans
  • 8 Switch Kicks & 8 Hop Squats (1 minute worth)
  • High Jumps (Just jump around, jump around)
  • Moving Plank Walk (Like moving push-ups without the push-up)
  • 8 Elbows & 4 Suicides (Elbow yourself in the head, then commit suicide)
  • 4 & 4 Hops (I thought this might be a beer recipe, but I was disappointed to find out otherwise)
  • 8 Jabs & Jumps (jab the air with alternating fists, spin 180 degrees, repeat)
  • Ok that was pretty easy, you work up a good sweat, but no where near the drenching you take in the workouts.

    Now it was on to Hip Flexor Burners.   The name did not sound like much fun, but what the hell, I am a sucker for a new move.   You start off just tapping a foot on the ground and raising your knee to above hip level for 30 seconds.  Next you pulse your knee up for another 30 seconds, while keeping your foot off the ground, last but not least you then kick while keeping the knee up, foot flexed, and toes off the ground.   Your leg is basically on fire and you have to put your foot down a few times to catch your balance or put out the flames.

    After that is was Oblique Knee Lifts, which is basically bringing your knee up to meet your elbow  on the side.  A nice recovery after the Hip Flexor Burners.

    I had a feeling that the worst was yet to come, and unfortunately…. I was right.    If you are looking for something that burns your shoulders and arms less than the next section of the workout, I would suggest sticking them in the microwave for a good 30 seconds.

    You start in a low squat position, Shaun has some fancy fucking dance name for it, but I call it shitting in the woods position.  You then stick your arms straight out to the sides and being flapping them up and down like a giant bird. You do this for 30 seconds, then you flap them straight out in front of you clapping your hands in front of you like one of those damn wind up monkeys with cymbals.  You have the same pained look on your face as that stupid monkey did, that look that says “Holy Shit, I think my fricking arms are gonna fall right the fuck off!!!”

    Now just when you thing the fun is ending, you change to clapping your hands together OVER your head.  Your eyes are now just as wide as that damn monkeys and you wish you had real cymbals so you could smash your head between them to knock yourself unconsicous. 

    Oh yeah, your still not done!!!  Next you stick the damn burning appendages out to the sides again, and being doing backwards circles.  (for those of us with P90X experience, it is like a pteradactyl backing out of trouble, caaawwww)  only these are smaller circles and last for 30 seconds.  By now half the people on the screen have either quit, passed out, or just walked off camera cause they have had it.  But guess what????  Another 30 seconds only this time small circles going FORWARD.   All the while Shaun is walking around feeling up all the frickin hot chicks by tucking in behind them and squeezing the sides and hips.   And I thought Tony Horton was big into fondeling Dreya the shemale.  He has nothing on Shaun T.  The T must stand for “Tappin some o’ that” cause ole Shaun is grabbin more flesh than a catholic priest at an alter boy convention.

    That pretty much winds up the workout, there is a small 2 or 3 minutes stretch, but I was busy trying to re-attach my arms to my shoulders so I did not partake in the stretch.   I can hardly wait to repeat that hell 4 more days in a row.

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    2 Responses to Insanity – Day 30 – Core Cardio and Balance

    1. Jill says:

      Hi there,
      I just wanted to let you know I’ve been reading your blog for a couple of days and you have me literally crying from laughing so hard. I’m in week 8 of P90X and you voice my thoughts about Tony, Dreya et. al. to perfection, which is what gets me cracking up so much! Such great workouts, but really, I talk to the tv so much telling the guy to just shut the f*** up. Anyway, had to tell you that you are keeping me going with this! Oh, and you’ve almost talked me out of doing Insanity. I’m not sure I could take yet another yakker feeling up the girls. I did Core Syn with a friend today and she was actually pissed at me about the Dreya Rolls. Too funny.

    2. LG says:

      I was trying to describe to a friend the following exercise, when I came across your blog.

      You have made me laugh so hard, with your review of day 30, that I seriously had tears running down my face. Your description of the squat circle, clap, tap things, at the end, is by far the funniest, and most detailed description of what we have to endure during those painful 30 seconds. Good Job!

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