Day 10 – Yogurt X

Oh, the joy of Yoga.  I am actually looking forward to todays workout as I am feeling a little stiff in the knee and shoulder joints.  I think I went a little overboard during the Agility X session yesterday and now my knee is paying for it.  Hopefully a little stretching and twisting will help it feel a little better.

So the workout gets starting and I am kicking ass in Childs Pose, when there is a slight gurgling in my stomach.  “Must be the chinese food I had for lunch” goes through my mind.  I crank out some Vinyasa’s and Warrior 1, 2 and 3 without stumbling about too much.  Down to chair pose, and the rumbling in the stomach starts up again.  I only ate the chicken and a couple spoonfuls of rice (keepin the carbs low ya know) but I think my intestines are trying to tell me that the chicken may have been wearing a flea collar at some point during its life.  “Breath in deep and exhale” says Tony, “now lets move into Half Moon”.  Right side first, then the left.  Next is Twisted Moon, so as I reach across with my right hand to the left leg I feel the slow steady puff of a Silent But Deadly slowly escaping the spincter.  Ahhh, I can reach an extra inch over the left.  “Breath in deep and up to flat back” says Tony.  That is when it hits me, the smell of rotten garbage, combined with sulfur and probably dead cat.   Lets go into “Standing Splits” says a cheerful Tony.   My head now lowers right into the floating pool of stench as I try to do the move while holding my breath.   Normally your own farts don’t smell too bad, almost like you feel bad for someone else in the room, but you kind of like it.  (probably how parents with really ugly kids feel)  But today was an exception, this was the red headed step-child of farts.  It was so bad you could almost see the cloud of stink hanging in the air.  Holy crap I am only half way done, I am gonna be doing the rest of this routine in the middle of a shit storm. 

On to the balance poses, I attempt to giraffe neck it to get my nostrils higher in the air. (I was hoping the heavier stink filled air would sink to the floor)  Maybe the air is a little better up here, my head starts to clear a little when I hear the command. Time for Crow.  Sweet aching Jesus no!!!  Down to floor level, trying to balance on my head/arms.  I was right, the heavier stink filled air had lowered to floor level. (the fact that my dachshund was laying on his back with his tongue hanging out apparently unconsious from the smell should have tipped me off that the smell had lowered to ground level)  Whew! It is tough to do Crow, Cat, Dog, Camel, Fish and any other move when your eyes are watering from the sharp scent of ass.  I struggle through to the end skipping SHAVASANA as I did not want to lay in the area any longer than needed.

Desite the odor, it was a pretty good work out.  I had a nice sweat worked up and later in the day my shoulders, legs and hips felt much better.  I went out into the garage and found the big box fan and put it in the basement workout area.  The wife asked if it was getting to warm down there when I worked out.  “Yeah, that is it, it is getting to warm” was my reply.   I think I may have done this to myself in the past, stinking up the yoga parlor.  Seems like a rookie mistake not having the fan available. It won’t happen again. 


Diet: 1,762 gross calories in. Net of 1,562. (2 Calories over my net limit)

Nutrition: 34% Protein, 38% Fat, 28% Carbs (No more chinese chicken for lunch til my 30 days are up)

Steps: 6,189 – It was pretty much a rest day.

Active Minutes: 20

Calories Burned: 2549

Only 80 more days to go!!!

 

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