Days 30 thru 33

May 5, 2014

Okay, so I missed updating a few days due to being out of town so it is time to catch up on all the fun and games that are P90X3. 

Day 30 – This was Triometrics!!! First time doing this routine and it is awesome.  It is basically like the plyometrics routine (same types of moves, squats, jumps, lunges, etc..) but with 3 levels of intensity.  So you start off the first 20 seconds of each move at the lowest intensity, (in many cases it is just not reaching all the way to the floor) then the next 20 seconds you step up the intensity, (so all the way down to the floor, a skip instead of a step) and the final 20 seconds are full plyo intensity. (palms to the floor, full jumps between reps, etc..)  Of course we get fricking Dreya Weber in all of her glory for this routine, along with Nate the hippie, surfer dude, airline owning test group survior, and lastly Victor who also showed his mug in Agility X.  I really liked this routine as it kept things moving quickly and was tough, and can be made tougher by increasing the intensity every 20 seconds.

Day 31 – YogaX – Yeah… What else can I say?  I am getting a little better.  That is all.

Day 32 – Eccentric Lower: This is similar to the Eccentric Upper routine, but for the lower body.  So you slowly drop down into squats, lunges and kicks over a 3 second count, and then explode out of the move with force.  Just think of a full routine of Depth Charges from The Warrior workout.  Not a bad workout, and I was pretty whipped after completing it.   Oh yeah, you add a weight to each of the moves as well, so you need to keep track of what you did, so you can add to it next time.  Another good thing about this routine is that it has some newer faces.  Shannon (of the Banana Hammock in Dynamix), JD and Keith who are test group surviors.  Either JD or Keith spend much of the routine grunting like they are about to rut like a mule deer.  I was thinking poor Shannon would end up on the receiving end of a 3 way before the workout ended. 

Day 33 – Incinerator:  This is an upper body routine where you attempt to do each move to the point of failure.  We have several new faces in the crowd here:  Tamara, Blake and Jessica.  This is the first I have seen of these 3 and it is a nice change of pace.  Jessica is a little sketchy as I am not exactly sure what look she is going for.  The Tattoed Gym Teacher look, or the punk rock superstar look.  Either way, she is kind of bad ass.   Blake is a massive dude who apparently got that way from doing round after round of P90X and P90X2.  Apparently this shit works.  And Tamara is your typical workout model for these things.  Ripped from head to toe, just like every other woman you walk past in America.    So Incinerator does not really introduce you to any “new” types of moves, it just basically encourages you to pick a weight that is enough to make you fail at about 10 reps.  It then goes into a second move that targets those same muscles again. (after a quick break to let Tony babble on about shit that no one cares about)



Day 28 – Yoga X

April 29, 2014

Last day of recovery.  My yoga still sucks. It is getting better, but it still sucks.

Day 15 – Agility X and Yoga X

April 16, 2014

It was Tuesday (Day 15) I was supposed to do Total Synergistics, but instead did that yesterday when I doubled up.  So for Day 15 I actually did Day 16 and Day 17’s workouts.  First up was Agility X. I was able to keep up with Tony and kids all the way until the very last move, Plyo Line Pushups.  I was gassed and was only able to get through the first 35 seconds of it or so.  Two times down the line and back. Then I just did walking pushups all the way back and forth down the line the rest of the time.  My fear was that if I went down into pushup, that I would not be able to get back up again.

So at this point I was sweating pretty good, after a couple minute cool down it was on to Yoga X.  Being warmed up already was a big help for Yoga X.  I seemed to be a little more stretchy and bendy.  Problem was the sweat was dripping off of me big time, and the Yoga was making in worse.  By the time I was done, my mat looked like swiss cheese with all the drops of sweat all over it.

Diet: 1,678 Gross Calories, Net of 1,078

Nutrition Breakdown: 39% Protein, 49% Fat, 12% Carbs.

Steps: 9,797

Active Minutes: 33

Calories Burned: 2659

Day 10 – Yogurt X

April 11, 2014

Oh, the joy of Yoga.  I am actually looking forward to todays workout as I am feeling a little stiff in the knee and shoulder joints.  I think I went a little overboard during the Agility X session yesterday and now my knee is paying for it.  Hopefully a little stretching and twisting will help it feel a little better.

So the workout gets starting and I am kicking ass in Childs Pose, when there is a slight gurgling in my stomach.  “Must be the chinese food I had for lunch” goes through my mind.  I crank out some Vinyasa’s and Warrior 1, 2 and 3 without stumbling about too much.  Down to chair pose, and the rumbling in the stomach starts up again.  I only ate the chicken and a couple spoonfuls of rice (keepin the carbs low ya know) but I think my intestines are trying to tell me that the chicken may have been wearing a flea collar at some point during its life.  “Breath in deep and exhale” says Tony, “now lets move into Half Moon”.  Right side first, then the left.  Next is Twisted Moon, so as I reach across with my right hand to the left leg I feel the slow steady puff of a Silent But Deadly slowly escaping the spincter.  Ahhh, I can reach an extra inch over the left.  “Breath in deep and up to flat back” says Tony.  That is when it hits me, the smell of rotten garbage, combined with sulfur and probably dead cat.   Lets go into “Standing Splits” says a cheerful Tony.   My head now lowers right into the floating pool of stench as I try to do the move while holding my breath.   Normally your own farts don’t smell too bad, almost like you feel bad for someone else in the room, but you kind of like it.  (probably how parents with really ugly kids feel)  But today was an exception, this was the red headed step-child of farts.  It was so bad you could almost see the cloud of stink hanging in the air.  Holy crap I am only half way done, I am gonna be doing the rest of this routine in the middle of a shit storm. 

On to the balance poses, I attempt to giraffe neck it to get my nostrils higher in the air. (I was hoping the heavier stink filled air would sink to the floor)  Maybe the air is a little better up here, my head starts to clear a little when I hear the command. Time for Crow.  Sweet aching Jesus no!!!  Down to floor level, trying to balance on my head/arms.  I was right, the heavier stink filled air had lowered to floor level. (the fact that my dachshund was laying on his back with his tongue hanging out apparently unconsious from the smell should have tipped me off that the smell had lowered to ground level)  Whew! It is tough to do Crow, Cat, Dog, Camel, Fish and any other move when your eyes are watering from the sharp scent of ass.  I struggle through to the end skipping SHAVASANA as I did not want to lay in the area any longer than needed.

Desite the odor, it was a pretty good work out.  I had a nice sweat worked up and later in the day my shoulders, legs and hips felt much better.  I went out into the garage and found the big box fan and put it in the basement workout area.  The wife asked if it was getting to warm down there when I worked out.  “Yeah, that is it, it is getting to warm” was my reply.   I think I may have done this to myself in the past, stinking up the yoga parlor.  Seems like a rookie mistake not having the fan available. It won’t happen again. 

Diet: 1,762 gross calories in. Net of 1,562. (2 Calories over my net limit)

Nutrition: 34% Protein, 38% Fat, 28% Carbs (No more chinese chicken for lunch til my 30 days are up)

Steps: 6,189 – It was pretty much a rest day.

Active Minutes: 20

Calories Burned: 2549

Only 80 more days to go!!!


Day 3 – Yoga X3

April 4, 2014

Yoga… It is like a bad word to me.  It takes advantage of my biggest weakness: “flexibility”.  So imagine my horror when I noticed that P90X3 contained another Yoga session.  I picked the DVD out of the case and trembled as I walked it over to the player.  The picture on it is Tony in all his glory, all stretched out like a prostitiutes vagina.  I cursed aloud, and then told myself “well, it will only be 30 minutes”.

  • CHILD’S POSE – One of my favorites.  I am actually pretty good at this one.  ;^)
  • VINYASA – Down to plank, Upward then Downward Dog with a push-up in between, then get back up and repeat.
  • CRESCENT – This is about the extent of my Yoga. After this it gets hard.
  • AIRPLANE – Flying around the basement.  Most yoga classes would not appreciate my propeller noises.
  • WARRIOR 1 and 2 – Again, I can do these, just not very well.
  • REVERSE WARRIOR – I am getting better at this.
  • BOUND SIDE ANGLE POSE – Yeah right, more like standing pretzel.
  • CHAIR – Yeah, I can do these.
  • WARRIOR 3 – I feel like a retarded superman, who can only fly on one foot.
  • HALF MOON – A favorite among plumbers, this is where I start fumbling about a bit.
  • TWISTED MOON – Not real good at this.
  • STANDING SPLITS – I can’t do sitting splits, so why am I trying to do standing splits? This is not good for me.
  • TRIANGLE – Most people reach their ankle, my hand is just below the knee on these.
  • TREE POSE – HELL YEAH!!!!  I can do this bad boy!!!
  • EXTENDED LEG WITH TOE BIND – I can grab my toe!!!, move should be called “crooked leg with toe bind” for me.
  • TED’S CHAIR – Ted can suck my ass.  I legged chair pose, but then Ted goes all Zen on everyone, Tony gets a stiffy over it.
  • CROW – I have eaten crow several times, but I cannot get the hang of this one.   Lots of falling.
  • CAT DOG – I think I have eaten Cat & Dog.  The vietnamese restaurant around the corner calls it “chicken”.
  • BIRD DOG TO DOG DANCER – I can do these, makes me feel like a Yoga champ.
  • CAMEL – I was expecting a “hump” but instead it was just another yoga move.
  • FIGURE 4 – I was hoping that Hacksaw Jim Duggan would pop out and put Tony in a Figure 4 Leg Lock.  Damn 2 strapper.
  • PLOW – For some reason the alt rock song “Plowed” was going through my head.  Detroit’s own Sponge. 
  • FISH – Whatever, I was still singing “Will I wake up, this dream I made up, no I guess it’s reality”
  • SHAVASANA – Killed this move.

The kids in this one were Stephanie Saunders the “expert” who helped Tony put together the routine,  Ted, this guy was in P90X2 I think.  I will have to check, but I remember thinking this guy was pissing me off in some other Yoga session.  And the last lady was some tasty blonde. (must have missed the name)  Tony’s only comment is that she had squirted out 6 kids and still looked hot.  My only thought was that if she keeps bending over like that number 7 won’t be too long in showing up.

Overall, I kind of enjoyed P90X3 Yoga.  Any more than 30 minutes and I would have been pissed just like in P90X and P90X2.

Diet: 1,294 gross calories in. Net of 1,094. (200 Calories burned in YogaX)

Nutrition: 36% Protein, 32% Fat, 32% Carbs (I snuck in a Coffee with Cream and Sugar, sending Fat and Carbs up)

Steps: 7,128 – another crappy day at work.  Locked to the desk.

Active Minutes: 20

Calories Burned: 2562

Day 90 – Yoga X

March 1, 2010

Well after 90 Days of P90X and weekly yoga X sessions, I have finally mastered the art of sticking my own head up my ass.   After listening to the first 45 minutes of Tony gabbing on and on during my relaxing yoga session, I just could not take it anymore.   So I reached and I stretched and eventually was able to fit my head into my own ass.   Ahhh the blessed silence of not being able to hear Tony was only dampened by the foul air in there.   It goes without saying that I was really looking forward to hitting the showers after this workout…

With my 90 days completed, I am looking forward to a week of no workouts and allowing my knees and other aching body parts some time to rest.   I will probably finish up on Tuesday with the final weigh-in and measurements and take the 90 day picture then.   I have been checking out the P90X+ dvd’s and will probably do these things every other day for a few weeks prior to starting INSANITY on April 5th.  I am hoping the Interval X and Cardio/Kenpo plus workouts will get me a little better prepared for what looks like a completely insane 60 days with INSANITY.

Day 85 – Yoga

February 22, 2010

Well today was the next to last Yoga session, so I decided to put in the optional “push-up” before each of the Downward Dogs.  (Tony always says do a push-up if you want to, and I have rarely if ever wanted to)  Adding in the extra push-up was not nearly as hard as I thought it would be.  I barely even noticed it until maybe the final 3 or 4 vinyassa’s.   I have improved a ton at Yoga and can now even stumble into the twisting half moon poses.  (only with the help of my block)  Some day maybe I will be able to hold the pose that the guy in the picture is doing.  Ya right.

On the balance poses, the crane is the only one that still gives me issues, I can keep balanced for maybe 15 seconds or so before falling out.  I just get back into it, and fall again every 10 seconds or so.   Hard to believe that I only have 1 more session of Yoga left.  Never would have thought that I would miss it.