Day 82 – Legs and Back

Legs and Back…. Done.   Ab-Ripper X…. Done.   I have finished the last Legs and Back and Ab-Ripper session of my 90 day journey.   Listed below are each of the individual excercises that make up the workouts.  Looking at it this way it seems like alot more than a 45 minute workout and a 15 minute abs session.

Legs and Back consists of:

Balance Lunges (25 each leg)

Calf-Raise Squats (25)

Reverse Grip Chin-Ups (max reps)

Super Skaters (25 each leg)

Wall Squats (90 seconds)

Wide Front Pull-Ups (Max Reps)

Step Back Lunges (25 each leg w/25lb weights)

Alternating Side Lunges (24 total w/25lb weights)

Closed Grip Overhand Pull-Ups (max reps)

Single-Leg Wall Squats (60 seconds, alternate 10 secs per leg)

Deadlift Squats (25 reps w/25lb weights)

Switch Grip Pull-Ups (max reps)

Three-Way Lunges (some fucking Dreya invention)

Sneaky Lunges (25 reps)

Reverse Grip Chin-Ups (max reps)

Chair Salutations (two 30-second reps)

Toe-Roll Iso Lunges (20 each leg)

Wide Front Pull-Ups (max reps)

Groucho Walks (45 seconds)

Calf Raises (3 sets of 25, w/25lb weights)

Closed Grip Overhand Pull-Ups (max reps)

80/20 Siebers-Speed Squats (30 each leg)

Switch Grip Pull-Ups (max reps)

For the most part this is a solid workout.  Works the legs and calfs while smacking you on the back as well.  (8 Sets of Pull-ups mixed in)

As for Ab-Ripper X, here is what that is made up of.

In & Outs (25 reps).

Seated Bicycles (25 reps forward, 25 reps backward).

Seated Crunchy Frogs (25 reps).

Crossed Leg / Wide Leg Sit-Ups (25 reps). 

Fifer Scissors (25 reps).

Hip Rock & Raise (25 reps).

Pulse-Ups (25 reps).

Roll-Up / V-Ups (25 reps).

Oblique V-Ups (25 reps on each side).

Leg Climbs (25 reps).  I do 25, Tony only does 24.

Mason Twists (40 reps).

I will not miss having to complete this either.  Starting with Fifer Scissors thru Pulse-Ups my lower back just starts aching.  Once I get past those 3, the rest are easy.   I vaguely remember trying this workout as part of the “trial run” and only getting about half way through before calling it quits.   Yes I have come a long way.  But I really do not like this workout, it really hurts my back too much each time.  Hopefully the Insanity Abs workout (which has no crunchs or sit-ups) will be less painful on my lower back.

Day 75 – Legs, Back and Nad Ripper

Legs and Back day today, that leaves one more time to do this routine before the end of my 90 days.   I have developed a very sore area right behind my right knee.  I have had issues with this before and was told that is was called a Bakers Cyst.   Below is a picture of what a Baker’s Cyst is, and a brief explanation, as taken from the Mayo Clinic site.

A door hinge needs oil to swing smoothly, to reduce the friction between its moving parts and to minimize wear and tear. Similarly, the cartilage and tendons in your knees rely on a lubricating fluid called synovial (si-NO-vee-ul) fluid. This fluid helps your legs swing smoothly and reduces friction between the moving parts of your knees.

Synovial fluid circulates throughout your knee and passes in and out of various tissue pouches (bursae) throughout your knee. A valve-like system exists between your knee joint and the bursa on the back of your knee (popliteal bursa). This regulates the amount of synovial fluid going in and out of the bursa.  But sometimes the knee produces too much synovial fluid. Most commonly this is caused by an inflammation of the knee joint, such as occurs with various types of arthritis.  A knee injury, especially a cartilage tear, also is a common cause of Baker’s cyst.

When the popliteal bursa fills with fluid and expands, the result is a bulge called a Baker’s cyst. In texture, it’s similar to a balloon filled with water.

So this thing has been getting bigger each day this week to the point where now it is starting to get uncomfortable.  With Kenpo coming up, I don’t see it getting any better.  Strange thing is, my left knee has had surgery and is the one that snaps and pops with every lunge and kick, but there is no swelling there. 

That wraps up todays medical lesson, with only 15 more days of P90X remaining, it will take more than a swollen sac to keep me from finishing, especially when the sac is located behind the knee instead of beneath the schlong.

Speaking of swollen sacks… Ab Ripper X followed Legs and Back.  There are 10 weeks where you are required to do Ab-Ripper 3 times a week.  That means 30 Ab-Ribber sessions with 349 Ab and Core moves (as Tony is quick to point out)  so that means over the 90 day period,  if you can do every single rep of Ab-Ripper,  you will have done 10,470 moves.   I have not added up all of my reps from the tally sheet,  so I don’t know exactly how many Abs I have ripped.  One thing that I do know is that I have 3 more sessions of Ab-Ripper left, and I for one, will not miss it when it is done.

Day 68 – Legs and Crack

Another day of Legs and Back… I take it that Dreya is British based on her tank top?  That would explain the stupid name that reminds me of Drano.  Why would that dipshit Tony let her wear that freakin top on his show?  Make her cover that thing up or at least get one with a US flag on the front.  Explains why she looks like a shemale though.  I guess she must have come across the pond to get her teeth fixed, cause them Brit bitches usually have some nasty gapped out yellow chompers, but Dreyas are nice and pearly.  Maybe Tony gave her those.

I tried to get through this workout without taking any breaks and fast forwarding through any spot that Tony goes off on his little discussions, or where I finish the excercise before they do.   It cuts the length down by a few minutes, but damn it is much harder that way.   I upped the weights on this workout as well, seeing that it is the last 30 days, time to really bring it.   Calf raises with 30lb dumbells in each hand is not exactly a walk in the park.   My legs behind my knees are a little sore today, probably from the increased weight.  I have Kenpo, so I am sure that will feel just great kicking around like a Clown on crack.

Day 61 – Legs and Back

Well now that I am into the final month of this process, I am really going to bear down and bring it the best that i can for the remaining days.  With that in mind I plodded down the stairs and checked the schedule.  Hmmmmm Legs and Back, what a good time to really start bringing it.  

What I did was upped the weights on every single one of the leg excercises from 20lb dumbells in each hand to 25lb dumbells in each hand.  So basically increased the total weight by 10 lbs for each excercise.   Individually it was not that much more difficult, but cumulatively I began running out of gas the further I got into the workout.   I got that wobbly fatigue feeling at about the 20 minute left mark and really could not shake it the rest of the way.  Some light headedness set in after that, but I just pressed on while trying not to fall on my face or stumble into the big screen TV down there. 

The more light headed I got, the more hilarious Tony seemed to get.  The same old dipshit lines that used to cause me to retch and roll my eyes, had me smiling like Karl from Slingblade at a roast chicken and cheesey tater dinner.  UmmmHummm   Next thing you know I am mumbling something about calling the police cause ” I dab near cut his head clean off,  UmmmHmmm”  

Once the workout was over and I got a couple of sips of water, my mind started to clear up.  On to Ab-Ripper X….  You know, it seems like every time I do the Ab Ripper, there is some other excercise that causes me to double over in pain.  Usually it is Heals to Heaven, or as I call it, “Go to Hell Tony you fricken dipshit”.  But this time it was the Leg Climbers of all damn things.  For some reason I was cramping up on those things, basically that excerscise acts  like a little break before the Mason Twists come along to pop you a good one in the nuts.  

The increase in the weights must have really been better than I thought, cause I slept like a baby last night.  Did not want to get out of bed this morning either.   If I have 29 more days like that, I had damn well better be ripped.   By the way, took the pictures and there is more improvement, I will try to create a Day 1, 30, 60 side by side of all the different pictures and get them posted.   I also did a remeasurement of the waist and neck for body fat calculation.   Waist was at 33.5 and neck 15 so plugging that into the calculator came up with about 16.5% body fat.   Still have a way to go.  According to the calculator, I would have to get down to a 30.5 inch waist to achieve 10% body fat.  I don’t think that is going to happen in the next 29 days.   We will see…

Day 47 – Legs and Back

Ahhh yes, the return of Legs and Back, and with it, the smokin hot chick in the back with the teeth like chiclets.    Why does Tony the douchebag spend all of his time drooling over that very she-maleish Dreya Weber.  Dreya kind of reminds me of the Alexa character in 50 First Dates.  You cannot tell for sure if it is a guy or gal.   Here is a classic line from 50 First Dates with Tony and Dreya filling the spots of Alexa and Henry (Adam Sandler)

TONY: How about we do some balistic huggers?

DREYA: “Shut up, because here comes one-time-only opportunity. What I will do now is go into your office and become naked.  Next move is up to you.  I may not be as limber as I once was but I make up for it with enthusiasm and willingness to experiment. ”
TONY: “I don’t know if you realize, I’m not into guys.”

Click here to listen to the conversation:  not into guys   

Now that I have done this workout like 6 or 7 times, I really spend most of my time looking at the goofball shit that Tony and the rest of the crew are doing in the background.  I can pretty much grind my way through this one with little or no stops.   Don’t get me wrong, I still sweat like a sumo wrestler in a sauna, but I don’t have to take breaks or stop and cuss at the TV anymore.  The closet homo with the dew rag that lives on the boat only really puts out the top level effort when he thinks the camera is on him.   At one point one of the cameramen goes behind him and is filming the hot chick (probably for his own personal porn stash) and boat boy thinks he is not being filmed.  He instantly starts bagging it, shallow lunges, no curls in-between, etc…  What he does not realize is the other cameraman is filming him not the guy behind him.   Tony eventually jumps in his shit a little bit about it, but it would be a much better workout if Tony had cuffed the dude upside the head a good one and yelled “get back at it Popeye.”

Kenpo tomorrow, more Hong Kong Phooey chops, then it is rest week.   Hell yes, the return of Core Synergistics and Cardio X.   I am looking forward to the week off.  Will probably move up some of Week 8 stuff into the rest week, as I am going on a 5 day trip to Las Vegas next weekend.   Keep pressin play.

Day 41 – Legs and Back

After taking a day off due to being sick, maybe I should have resumed with a slightly easier workout than Legs and Back.  It felt almost like the first time doing the routine as my legs burned from the start and I had to pause the DVD a couple of times cause my heart was jumping out of my chest and I was getting a little light headed.  This was probably due to the lack of calories taken in while I was sick the day before.   I managed to get all the way through the workout while maintaining all the weights and reps that I had done the previous time, I just had to pause a couple of times to catch my breath. 

I seriously thought about just bagging the damn Ab Ripper x routine, but instead I just took a 3 minute break in between.  I was able to plow through the Ab routine pretty much the same as always which kind of surprised me.  I figured I would never make it.   I am glad I did not put it off, cause now my rest day (Saturday) will be spent doing the KempoX routine, which is lots easier than the Legs and Back.   If I emulate the chubby Kempo guy who is half-assing it in the back, I probably won’t even break a sweat. 

Hopefully I can stay healthy the rest of the way through this, being sick for a day really sucked ass.  I am nearing the half way mark of Day 45.   It would be pretty hard to quit after getting that far into this.

Day 40 – Whacked!!!

I woke up at about 2:30am with a stomach that felt like it was going to explode, wave after wave of nausea hit me and by 2:45am I was parked in the bathroom worshipping at the porcelain alter.   Wow (which upside down is Mom, according to our fearless dipshit P90X leader) I have not been that sick in several years.   Every joint ached, my head throbbed and despite the fact that I was wearing long pants, a t-shirt, a hoodie, and 4 blankets…. I was still shivering cold.  

It was supposed to be a Legs and Back day, but it ended up being a sleep all day with the dog curled up next to me day.  But by 7:00pm that evening, I was back to feeling good enough to get out of bed.  One good thing about being sick, I did not eat hardly anything all day for fear of puking it back up.  I think I had a total of 600 calories, and most of those were just liquids.    So it looks like my normal rest day this week will be used to make up for missing the Legs and Back today.  No rest for the fat guy.

Day 19 – Legs and Back

Back on track today with Legs and Back and Abs.   As week 3 draws to a close, the workouts are definately feeling much easier to get through.  I added more weight to several of the lunges and was able to complete every set with either as many or more reps than Tony and Dreya the man/woman hybrid.  Favorite part of the video is at the end when douchebag Tony goes to give the hot chick with the bands a high five and she lets go of the band and the handle smacks him right in his dick muncher.  

I completed all 349 ab-ripper moves for the first time as well.  It works better for me if I go at my own pace.  So at the beginning I go faster than the DVD, but eventually they catch up and we finish with Mason Twists at the same time.   I have been using the P90Xcel spreadsheet, but it does not have a graph for the Abs section.   The rest of the spreadsheet is awesome for tracking results and viewing schedules.  

Nutrition: I have been getting better at keeping the carbs down and have been at the 50 protein, 35 carbs and 15 fat level for the percentages for the past couple of days.  Kenpo is tonight and then I will have to make up Yoga on Saturday as I missed it on Wednesday.

Day 12 – Legs and Back II

Second time through the entire Legs and Back workout, and I was able to keep up with Tony the D-bag and the rest of the P90X crew.   Is it just me, or is some of the shit Tony talks about completely stupid.  “Time for Karens famous pot-stirrers, what kind of soup you makin?”  Who the fuck is Karen?  And let me tell you T-Bag Tony, I am thinking of whipping up a nice kettle of dipshit stew, and guess who is going to be the main ingredient?  I may throw in a little bull-dyke Dreya meat as well.   I would love to see that chick in the pink with the weight bands just wrap one around his neck and pull tight for a few seconds.

Wall-sits and one-leg wall sits are great, and the chair salutations are pretty tough to.  Listening to my iPod and tuning out Tony makes those excercises go much faster.   And is it just me, or is Dreya and Tony hardly even bending their knees in the wall sit.  Looks like they are sitting in an ejector seat or something, get that ass down and bend those legs bitches.

Ab-Ripper X is getting easier each time.  I can now do all 25 of everything and 40 mason-twists.  I touch my feet down 2 times during Fifer Scissors and I have to pause during the pulse-ups as those things absolutely kill my lower back.  No idea why, cause none of the other stuff bothers my back.   

Diet:  According to the Daily Plate I have consumed 16,000 calories less than what was needed to stay at my original weight with a heavy activity lifestyle.   I guess it takes 3,500 calories to burn off 1 pound of body fat, so in my 12 days I have in theory lost about 4.5 pounds of fat.   I am not planning on weighing myself at all, until the first 30 days are completed.   I have been able to keep the fat % of my daily meals below 20%, but the carbs and protein are about 42 to 46 percent each.

Day 5 – Legs and Back

This one should be called Lunge and Back.  Kneel down, stand up, Kneel down, stand up, repeat 5000 times.  Throw in about 100 chin-ups just to make things fun,  now bend down again.  For those of us who have had knee surgery, this is not the most fun of ways to work out the legs.   Wall sits and single leg wall sits, and lunge left and lunge right and lunge over and puke. Oh yeah, and when you are done its time for Ab RipperX.  I am improving each time on the Ab Ripper and have increased to more than 20 of each of the excercises.  Even managed to do 30 Mason Twists.

Diet:  Carbs 43%  Protein 38%  Fat 19%.  I am able to keep the fat level down, but the carbs are still to high.  The extra large OJ I drink each morning is mostly to blame, but I can not give it up.   KenpoX tomorrow.